A big scare

Today we had a huge scare. Dr. Coleman came in this morning to check the cervix and the cerclage. Tristan had stayed the night and was sound asleep next to Michelle. He hooked up the ultra-sound and did not like what he saw. We saw it too. There was a dark shape by the cervix again. It looked differently than before (more triangle-like than the roundness we saw before the cerclage), but he was convinced that the membranes had come through the cervix again. 

Michelle got up and went to the restroom. He told me that "it didn't look good". He then did a vaginal ultra-sound and was still pretty sure.  He left to get the nurse and left Michelle and myself there. I was pretty heart-broken and upset and asked Michelle if she wanted me to call her mom or anything. She just said that she "didn't want to talk about it yet". She didn't tell me at the time, that she didn't think it was her water bag. 

The nurse and him got ready to do a regular exam. The nurse was looking at Tristan and seemed real surprise that Coleman didn't seem to care. She asked him "are you comfortable with him being there" or "shouldn't we move him" or something like that. Dr. Coleman just looked and said "no, he's sleeping." They then flipped a bedpan upside down and Michelle sat her butt on it. They pulled out a flashlight and away they went. He couldn't tell, but agreed with Michelle about the amount of cervical goo that she had been reporting. He started really doubting the utlra-sound but had to do one more exam to prove for sure. It proved out to be a false alarm.

Michelle told him that she never believed it. I wish I would have had her confidence. They then just started talking some more. They were talking about Michelle and her previous desires to be a nurse or a veternarian and how she basically just gave it all up to be the best mom she could be for her kids. I don't know why, but it moved me. I've heard it all before. I was just sitting there and listening to her and looking at her an my eyes filled with tears. It seems impossible that there's a place in my heart that she doesn't already occupy, but that moment proved me wrong. Either that or my heart just grew some more. I'm not sure.

Anyway, that was that and the doctor was gone. A big sigh of relief.